Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
