So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
