dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
