so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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