she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
