I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
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