people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
