I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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