OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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