Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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