I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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