He passed out mid-signature
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
