South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
