You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You ruined the universe
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
