I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
