You can't motorboat a personality
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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