he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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