If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
