i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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