have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
