i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
