whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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