I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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