what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
