why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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