I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
