Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
