I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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