what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There r osticjed everywhere
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize