Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize