I bet he comes in French.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
