come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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