worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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