i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
