You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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