Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver

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  (313): Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink (313): Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver http://tfl.nu/lqre
  Replies (9) Good night (2345) Bad night (492)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion

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  (314): What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion http://tfl.nu/5o7j
  Replies (15) Good night (5127) Bad night (767)
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  (916): View more from California

  How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.

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  (916): How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology. http://tfl.nu/cnij
  Replies (34) Good night (1082) Bad night (3677)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.

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  (940): Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next. http://tfl.nu/2m7k
  Replies (32) Good night (735) Bad night (4791)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.

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  (616): HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE. http://tfl.nu/qa6s
  Replies (25) Good night (1300) Bad night (4013)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables

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  (807): Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables http://tfl.nu/0ytp
  Replies (11) Good night (5011) Bad night (955)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving

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  (740): you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving http://tfl.nu/qna9
  Replies (14) Good night (3311) Bad night (874)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.

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  (970): I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant. http://tfl.nu/vide
  Replies (3) Good night (2416) Bad night (882)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.

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  (267): I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night. http://tfl.nu/8jcd
  Replies (12) Good night (2056) Bad night (938)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.

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  (978): Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child. http://tfl.nu/fq2v
  Replies (7) Good night (1056) Bad night (1706)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.

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  (612): Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement. http://tfl.nu/cvtk
  Replies (7) Good night (1086) Bad night (545)
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  (415): View more from California

  What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises

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  (415): What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises http://tfl.nu/lzak
  Replies (4) Good night (1205) Bad night (440)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?

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  (830): I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy? http://tfl.nu/wl4s
  Replies (13) Good night (2220) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  How's dating the med student working out for you?

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  A true anatomy project.

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  (414): How's dating the med student working out for you? (715): After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was. (414): A true anatomy project. http://tfl.nu/in9w
  Replies (2) Good night (989) Bad night (257)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.

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  (206): I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come. http://tfl.nu/a9r3
  Replies (0) Good night (657) Bad night (245)

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