you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
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First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm bleeding and have questions
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.