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• (734): View more from Michigan

  You made me cry and you don't even care

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van

  Fav 13 2444 960

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.

  Fav 17 807 2222

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.

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• (805): View more from California

  You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life

  Fav 4 1000 816

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.

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• (530): View more from California

  now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.

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