There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am