Texts From Last Night

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  (416): View more from Ontario

  you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night

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  (416): you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night http://tfl.nu/f5gl
  Replies (92) Good night (32965) Bad night (1937)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.

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  (412): I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him. http://tfl.nu/4998
  Replies (41) Good night (1318) Bad night (4413)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.

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  (215): after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values. http://tfl.nu/kv5s
  Replies (50) Good night (2227) Bad night (3246)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...

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  (250): Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls... http://tfl.nu/1wve
  Replies (30) Good night (5616) Bad night (1396)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.

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  (425): She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why. http://tfl.nu/ircc
  Replies (6) Good night (1702) Bad night (1051)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...

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  (715): I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life... http://tfl.nu/7li7
  Replies (6) Good night (1443) Bad night (1263)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.

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  (508): I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played. http://tfl.nu/k248
  Replies (4) Good night (1340) Bad night (498)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.

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  (561): I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you (860): I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this. http://tfl.nu/r7r6
  Replies (5) Good night (1422) Bad night (500)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.

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  (970): Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush. http://tfl.nu/v4yp
  Replies (0) Good night (841) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.

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  (775): Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me. http://tfl.nu/b0yd
  Replies (4) Good night (393) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D

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  (402): Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D http://tfl.nu/eelv
  Replies (2) Good night (677) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  There's a naked man in my car right now.

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  (903): There's a naked man in my car right now. http://tfl.nu/6qzb
  Replies (6) Good night (705) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.

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  (713): I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE. http://tfl.nu/cj44
  Replies (2) Good night (990) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does

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  (561): I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does http://tfl.nu/w0y1
  Replies (0) Good night (449) Bad night (261)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.

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  (937): Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment. http://tfl.nu/z1fq
  Replies (2) Good night (408) Bad night (303)

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