I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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