Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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