Texts From Last Night

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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.

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  (907): I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are. http://tfl.nu/tm8o
  Replies (36) Good night (3741) Bad night (1051)
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  (805): View more from California

  NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??

  (805): View more from California

  He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  You should probably go find him.

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  (805): NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be?? (805): He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is. (814): You should probably go find him. http://tfl.nu/673m
  Replies (11) Good night (3159) Bad night (1037)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table

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  (813): you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table http://tfl.nu/kgfj
  Replies (25) Good night (2522) Bad night (4329)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  there needs to be a build-a-bong store...

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  (267): there needs to be a build-a-bong store... http://tfl.nu/zpe9
  Replies (53) Good night (9293) Bad night (1091)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.

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  (214): The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it. http://tfl.nu/df00
  Replies (38) Good night (6319) Bad night (1209)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.

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  (412): I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts. http://tfl.nu/rew4
  Replies (24) Good night (1049) Bad night (5515)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...

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  (248): You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened... http://tfl.nu/unry
  Replies (66) Good night (25821) Bad night (3082)
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  (585): View more from New York

  he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?

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  (585): he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is? http://tfl.nu/uyol
  Replies (10) Good night (4778) Bad night (1084)
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  (516): View more from New York

  There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed

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  (516): There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed http://tfl.nu/zayy
  Replies (5) Good night (5028) Bad night (963)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.

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  (321): It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical. http://tfl.nu/ps02
  Replies (17) Good night (3234) Bad night (878)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler

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  (509): We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler http://tfl.nu/7vbk
  Replies (12) Good night (1505) Bad night (668)
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  (310): View more from California

  Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...

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  (310): Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night... http://tfl.nu/707e
  Replies (15) Good night (3411) Bad night (807)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Technically my penis started a fight tonight

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  (920): Technically my penis started a fight tonight http://tfl.nu/2ets
  Replies (14) Good night (1389) Bad night (546)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.

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  (325): She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her. http://tfl.nu/stpn
  Replies (0) Good night (615) Bad night (325)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends

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  (256): If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends http://tfl.nu/kp0i
  Replies (0) Good night (466) Bad night (218)

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