She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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