Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
