Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
