i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
