It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
