Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
