look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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