What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
