i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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