Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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