just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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