we should wear snuggies to the strip club
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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