I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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