Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
