I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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