Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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