I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
