David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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