Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
