I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
If I die, sorry about rent.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
