I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
When did angry sex become our thing?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
