There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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