i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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