He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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