girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
